11 événements qui vont se dérouler dans la crise en Ukraine

ukraine1- Poutine va, sous les applaudissements du FN, du Parti de Gauche et divers autres groupes, mener une action armée. La fraction souverainiste du PS, celle de l’UMP et les chevénementistes vont, eux, plus discrètement, ironiser sur la méchante Union Européenne pas capable d’arrêter Poutine (tout en refusant à l’UE tout moyen d’action supplémentaire). Ah pardon c’est déjà fait.

2- Quoi que déclare Gérard Collomb sur la crise ukrainienne (valable pour Alain Juppé, Roland Ries ou n’importe quel maire de n’importe quelle étiquette de n’importe quel bord politique dans n’importe quel coin de France), si quelqu’un l’interroge sur le sujet sans forcément qu’il l’aie demandé, ses adversaires aux municipales ne seront pas d’accord. Sans forcément dire autre chose, faut pas déconner.

3-La presse nationale et locale expliquera que nos options sont limitées et que l’Ukraine est le premier test d’affaires étrangères du gouvernement (en oubliant tous ceux qui l’ont précédé).

4-Chevénement, Villepin Lellouche, Mélenchon et quelques autres squatteront les plateaux.

5-Les cités dans le point précédent expliqueront qu’il faut agir. Une fois les actions décidées ou pas, ils décréteront qu’elles affaiblissent la France et qu’il faut faire plus.

6-Ulysse Gosset viendra nous rappeler qu’on a pris un coup de vieux, vu qu’on le regardait parler perestroika sur la télé en 1987.Purée 27 ans…

7-Poutine fera monter les enchères en décrétant vouloir envahir d’autres zones à fortes minorités russes comme Nice ou le magasin Dior des Champs-Elysées.

8-Des analystes très en vue et bien rémunérés nous expliqueront qu’il ne faut pas confondre est et ouest de l’Ukraine (alors qu’en passant trois minutes sur internet il pourraient voir que c’est un peu plus compliqué que cela).

9-Dieudonné, Soral et Zemmour seront d’accord avec tout ce que pourra faire Poutine. D’ailleurs ce sera super hype d’être pour Poutine.

10-Des gens vont signer des pétitions pour soulager leur conscience.

11-Tout cela risque de durer un peu

Merci à Mother Jones pour m’avoir inspiré.

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  1. On est d’accord. Voir mon billet de cette nuit fait en réaction d’un tas de conneries que j’ai pu lire.

    • Romain Blachier

      Merci.La réaction de Didier ci dessous me surprend d’ailleurs.

  2. Et, en onze points (pourquoi pas huit ? Ou quinze ?), vous démontrez que vous vous foutez absolument de votre sujet (moi aussi, d’ailleurs) et que seul votre petit Collomb vous intéresse. Bonne réélection, bonne petite prébende.

    • Romain Blachier

      Tiens vous avez eu une fin de week-end difficile? Si je m’en moquais de ce sujet je n’écrirais pas dessus.bref.

  3. David Burlot

    Je trouve honteux d’avoir stigmatiser ainsi Me Nadine Morano !

  4. Toutatis

    Il était parfaitement grotesque et dangereux de la part de politiciens occidentaux de s’afficher à Kiev avec des manifestants ne représentant qu’une partie de la population ukrainienne (probablement même une minorité), ainsi que de cautionner une prise du pouvoir chassant un chef de l’état légitimement élu. Il n’était pas difficile de prévoir que l’autre partie de l’Ukraine entrerait en révolte, poussée en plus par des provocations comme l’abandon de la langue russe comme langue officielle (quel effet cela à eu dans des régions où la majorité de la population est russophone ?).
    Grotesque aussi parce que cela dénote un aveuglement total sur l’état de l’union européenne. Il y a 10 ans, la partie orientale de l’Ukraine, tournée vers la Russie, était la plus riche. Depuis l’écart s’est creusé, en 10 ans la croissance de l’union européenne a été de 13,4%, et de 55% en Russie, et l’est de l’Ukraine y a participé. Quel soutien les Ukrainiens peuvent-ils obtenir d’une Europe quasiment ruinée ?
    En réalité l’Europe a essayé d’acheter l’Ukraine, Poutine a mis une somme beaucoup plus importante sur la table. L’Europe était incapable de suivre, et a donc essayé d’avoir l’Ukraine par un autre moyen, sans payer.

    • Je ne pense pas que l’Europe soit ruinée. Par contre point de vue des plus intéressants sur le reste. Merci.

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